When I stared this site (8 years ago, its June 2008 as I write). I started it with the intent of getting to the bottom of the essence of Christian teaching on this subject. I started with the basics (What is a Covenant?, What is a Vow?) and moved on from there. During the time of my studying I saw that there were two very different approaches towards this subject. One was a covenant is a covenant is a covenant, and other was one of viewing a covenant more along the lines of something that was changeable - under certain situations (with which I agree), almost like a contract.


This is a major starting point for any discussion of this subject and should be settled before one proceeds further.


Brothers and sisters the starting point in any discussion - particularly this one - is important. One can start at the top and say God told me to ‘move on’ from my failing marriage and not deal with scriptures that seem to say otherwise (as in you should stay), or one can start at the bottom like I did, and that is to scripturally define words, concepts, then look at relevant verses and move on from there . Doing it this way is a laborious process - but it’s worth it - for the questions that come up on these pages do come up every now and then in life. However, because you are in the process of studying the subject (present tense) things can change (and if you have read these pages it’s obviously I rewrite things as I find new truths and or have new understandings concerning things. The whole thing is pretty much a posted rough draft).


Brothers and sisters, the thing about ‘the starting point’ in this particular discussion is this. As you progress from defining words and concepts to looking at verses, the verses you deal with in regards to this subject often revolve around the concept of law or commandments and those need to be sorted out (by covenant etc.) to find the final answer on the subject. One way to sort through them is to not deal with them at all (which some people do), and do an ‘end run’ around them - in faith - and use ‘life’ not ‘law’ as your guide to solve whatever issues are at hand. This does work in regards to many things for this is exactly what Esther did when she married one who was outside her faith and race and in the end - that act - resulted in the saving of her people. Brothers and sisters, there is a lot of truth in doing things this way, and that is, it’s not about law but life, and again it does seem to work, but again it’s a question of faith (and in this particular case it was Mordecai’s faith in the opportunity presented, and Esthers faith in him)


Brethren, one of the last question I worked on before laying this down had to do with two believers who had married as unbelievers (that is they made a covenant as unbelievers) and wanted to move on with their lives - apart from one another - and marry other people. I was approaching the question for the perspective of NO - but it was a stretch to make it so, and it looked like another option was breaking in regards to believers choices for their lives (the first option being leaving a marriage to unbelievers). If I wanted to I could have made the argument for staying in the marriage in regards to the testimony issue - but in regards to looking at the marriage covenants from a ‘law’ perspective - it looked like it would be hard to make that case. But I had to move on to other things (and by the way I do feel there are other options - or nuances of choices - ‘out there’ as well).


Brothers and sisters, after laying these pages down for a while, and coming back to reexamine them I see that there is indeed a progression when one starts at the bottom and works their way up, and that progression again does concern the issues of life, not law. In other words “it is about life, not law.” This truth can be found as the basic thrust in Jesus teaching in Matthew 12:4 where he justified something David did that “was not lawful.” The statement by Jesus is an eye opening thing that is often overlooked in regards to divorce and remarriage issues, but never the less the basic thrust of it is true. Brothers and sisters, this web-page (that is what you are going to read below), is an elaboration of that basic thrust. To some people, when you finish reading it, it may look like ‘soup without meat’ however if one is sick (sick being overly consumed with rules and regulations), soup may be exactly what a person needs [and once they are better, then they can start eating solid things again (there is nothing wrong with soup - especially if a person is sick person) and again, once they are better, God will sort out the things in their life (once again it‘s about life, not law).


Brothers and Sisters this subject of divorce and remarriage is not an easy subject. The last time I studied it (2 or 3 years ago) I found out that there was a consensus just starting on some of the major points by noted Evangelical Theologians. This is good - and well time I might add. But I, or neither you, are bound by their conclusions.


Also, brothers and sisters, I don’t know anyone who has gone into this subject on the level or in the detail that I have, and I am still not finished [so if you disagree with things on these pages, you really need to cut me some slack in regards to things, this is an involved subject and again these pages are a posted rough draft subject to revision. A studied opinion . If you can justify your point on things (that is if you disagree with me) you should not feel threatened by my summations].


Someday I hope to finish these pages. (I would love to explore the parable of the seeds in relation to these issues). But there is so much for God’s people to work on to bring about the unity of the faith, so until I do I’ve written a little something on Christian decision making that one may use as a guide for making major life decisions - including the ones mentioned on these pages. It’s approach is a little different than these pages and is probably where these pages would have ended up - if I had not been busy studying other things.


There is no copyright on it. If you wish you can re-write, or add sections to it and put “By Anonymous” or something similar on it. (and in regards to this, or the entire web site for that matter, it’s content is yours for the taking. You can change things around, take things straight as they are, whatever. Make your own publication on the subject - and contribute yourself to the debate without notifying me of what you did - again it‘s free for the taking). It’s just that there are more pressing issues at hand for me to deal with right now.






Christian Decision Making



In the beginning the Lord God created a garden for man to dwell in, a garden for him to keep, a garden for him to maintain. In the midst of the garden were two trees. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil and the tree of life. Man was given specific instructions not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (or right and wrong) for it would lead to things that had nothing to do with life. In his deception man ate of that tree and his eating of it led man, mankind, and subsequent generation after generation, kingdoms, nations and countries down a path of destruction - which still goes on today.


At the end of the story - in the book of Revelation, the tree of life appears again and not surprisingly its leaves are meant for the healing of the nations. Most all problems between nations today can be linked to nations eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and not the tree of life. When nations are at odds with one another they are usually (and this needs to be tempered and I say it with the utmost caution), they are usually pointing the finger at some evil, or some wrong, rather than seeing that a particular nation may act a certain way just because its seeking life for it’s people. (On the other hand - and this is probably more the case - a nation may be acting a certain way because it’s still eating of the wrong tree). We need discernment.


Now what does this have to do with Christian decision making. Plenty. For just as nations can be deceived by eating of the wrong tree so to Christians can be deceived in making major life decisions based on what is “the right thing to do” rather than seeing things along the lines of what causes life and what doesn’t. What I want to point out here are some things that one may want to consider before one makes any life decision.





First: Ones Approach Towards Life





When one gets up in the morning one can either review all the “rules and regulations” before they do anything, or... they can take life as it comes and “go with the flow.”


These are two very different approaches to (or towards) life. If one looks at the life of King David it’s obvious that he loves the law of God, yet he steps over the boundaries time and time again for the sake of life. This fact is pointed out by Jesus in Matthew 12 when Jesus addresses this very same issue to the Pharisees.


Children - whether literal or spiritual - usually need boundaries (rules and regulations) whether they realize it or not they often do. Adults (especially adults in the faith) usually don’t. Any adult in any kind of authority usuallys knows that rules and regulations don’t cover every life situation and sometimes need to be amended - on the spot - And this without getting approval from higher ups. This is life. Life is something that is - quote, unquote wild, it’s fun, and exciting and cannot be easily contained. It’s ever growing and moving from one thing to another. Trees - as they grow - will usually push up sidewalks, or press against foundations - and - if allowed, push them out of the way too. So it is with life. It does not like boundaries, it does not like to be thought of in terms of good and evil (remember the trees in the garden). Life is diametrically opposed to that kind of thinking.


One has to realize that there are levels of maturity in regards to making life decisions. Particularly major ones (are you a child or a teen?, a young adult or an mature adult in the faith This is a question one may whnt to ask themselves). Brothers and sisters, whatever your honest answer is to that question the decisions you make about life choices should - as you grow - be weighted more towards going with the flow of life (that is what causes life to prosper), rather than getting up each morning and consciously or unconsciously examining the rules and regulations of what one should or shouldn’t do.


Again, life has nothing to do with the knowledge of good and evil (or right or wrong).





Second: The Will of God





In regards to decisions that require a maturity that you don’t have, whats “wrong” with you that Gods not talking to you?” is a question you may want to ask yourself. The answer is nothing. Your a child of God - ever growing - ever maturing. God wants to enlarge you faith from one thing to another. From one stage of maturity to another. Sometimes we need to take a break from our busy lives and spend time with God and learn to listen. Particularly concerning those major life changing decisions that we’re talking about.

Again, Learn to hear from God particually about things you either don’t have a mature faith for or situations you are unsure of. A lot of people walk around with an ignorant attitude concerning Gods will for their lives when daily direction is the inheritance of God’s people. What father would not desire to communicate with his children. So it is with God. Get in the flow. The Apostle John, whom Jesus loved, said you have no need for man to teach you, you have an anointing. This is no small statement. Actually it’s a rather mature statement written by a man who - at the time was rather old and mature in the faith (written circa 90 AD In “the faith” for probably 60 years). Again, go to God - particularly about those things that involve you in relation to other’s who are at different levels of understanding. Those can be the ‘tough ones’





Third: Ones Conscience





In the absence of revelation (maybe you are just too busy to spend time with God, or just can’t hear clearly for some reason). In the absence of revelation God gives us a conscience to guide us. There are levels to ones conscience with the final level being - I believe - going with the flow of life wherever it may lead you (in other words if you were to - for a moment - step out of that flow and ask God if what you were doing was OK, He would not only agree with you but tell you to go full steam ahead.


In the Book of Romans one sees a parallel drawn between the Law of God and ones conscience [that is.... even the gentiles who don’t have the written law of God (that is the books of the Bible) know intuitively the law of God for God has revealed it to them in their conscience (eventuated by their reasoning back and forth about things)].


In 2 Corinthians one also finds a discussion about the conscience and one finds that there are actually levels to ones understanding about things .


Not to get into a huge discussion here, but the point I want to make in regard to Christian decision making is that if for some reason you cannot tap into God’s will for your life (again, maybe a tough complex issue that involves people at different levels of understanding - whom - if you are able to “move along” may have a “final” bearing on Gods will for your life. In other word God may purposely be silent on the issue because people need to grow in understanding of things). One can - in the absence of revelation - always get together and talk about what ones conscience will allow one to live with in regard to a major life changing decision. Brothers and Sisters you have a conscience, it there for a reason, learn to deal (that is understand) it and allow for the fact that you may still have a way to go in regards to its levels.


A word of warning. Your conscience should be soft - not hard - particually when your decision effects other people. Again, there needs to be regard paid for where other people are at in their growth in God. If someone says no - unless God says different, the no should be no and that should be it. You can discuss the issue - sure, by all means. And definetly some people need to grow up in regards to some issues, but on the other hand we do not want to cause people to stumble. Again, go with the flow of life. See where it leads.





Fourth: God’s General Direction





There is a direction that God is moving in. When God speaks to Moses He says that He is going to reveal Himself to him in a way that He didn’t reveal himself to Abraham (that is as Lord over all these so called gods. Hence the exciting story in the book of Exodous). The Lord God is progressively revealing Himself and His purposes to mankind. There is a general direction to the flow of God’s Spirit. Now granted there may be exceptions to His general purpose or direction (hence the word “general”). And He may lead certain individuals in a direction that “the group” is not going in. This being said one cannot ignore the fact that there is a progression of revelation - and direction in scripture. Everyone (and I’m speaking to Christian here), is basically going in the same direction (that is towards a selfless life). Now granted when trying to discern or hear about God’s will for ones life - especially in regards to complex issues that involve other peoples understanding of things, this selfless life is a sword that can cut both ways (how much do I really want to give, or give up for the sake of someone else). I realize this, but the saying of the greatest prophet who ever lived - John the Baptist - should not be ignored (I must decrease and He must increase). The selfless live is the general direction God wants His people to go in regards to life and should be factored in - especially in the absence of revelation - when making major life decisions.





Fifth: Christ’s Life within You





‘It’s not I who live but Christ who lives in me’ is a statement that relates to the previous point and shout not be ignored. ‘What is your understanding of what Jesus would do in a particular situation?’ is a good question to consider when making a major life decision (again in the absence of direct revelation, or just going with “the flow”). The scriptures say the Jesus never pleased himself. Personally - and you may want to chalk this up to my level of maturity and understanding of things - I have a hard time seeing Jesus doing some of the things that some people want to do. Now granted Jesus was trying to bring people away from living a life under the law to living a life of faith and trust (and you need to factor that in when reading some of His statements, that is He was at times speaking to people who were under the law). And His life was indeed cut short (that is He never actually lived it out with all its abundant possibilities. For example, what would Jesus’s sex life have been like - if that was God’s will for Him?). This being said, (as well as acknowledged), what we do know of His life and how he lived it (a life which dwells in us - by the way) is not a minor thing to consider and is a definite “fallback” position to ponder - and tap into - when - again, in the absence of direct revelation, or just going with the flow of God’s Spirit - one is trying to make a major life decision.

Hios life was an example for us to follow.


Listen, we have not all “arrived” in regards to our understanding of things, and we may indeed all be all differeing “levels” of understanding and growth in our consciences. Also I’m sure there are people who can imagine Jesus doing things that I cannot (and they may be perfectly correct in their opinion of a particular action or behavior). I acknowledge this fully. But asking yourself what your understanding of what Jesus would do in a particular situation is not such a horrible question to ask in pondering God’s will in ones decision making process. I fail to see ANY harm in considering it. Again,


What Would Jesus Do? (WWJD)






Sixth: Public life vs. Private live

The Consideration of Others





In Matthew 12 Jesus justifies the disciples violation of the Sabbath (they were picking grain) as something that was OK to do for it was something that was done for the sake of life (He even offered a proof text in regard to something King David did as justification that - for the sake of life - it was OK to violate the law).


The above mentioned scripture is something most people overlook in regards to its significance. Jesus was definitely trying to get people away from livingunder the law and moving them to living a life of faith and trust (note the contrast). Even the book of Acts reflect this debate when the Apostles are wrestling with the issue of the law. In a letter they write to the churches they mention - literally - only a handful of things a Christian “should” do, and they should do them - not for salvation’s sake - but so that they - as Christians - should “do well.” (and if you read 2 Corinthians some of these things directly relate to other peoples consciences).


We as Christians need to be mindful of other peoples conscience’s when we do things publicly. If a person starts asking questions about our public behavior (unless God says different - again read the story in Matthew 12), unless God says different, it might be best to think twice about our public behavior in certain situations. Brothers and Sisters there is nothing wrong with living a private life that on the surface may seem hypocritically (and even at odds with ones public life), but in actuality is just considerate of other peoples consciences. Since people are at differing levels in their understanding of things we don’t want to cause people to stumble.


Again, consideration of where others are at is something one may want to consider when trying to discern God’s will for ones life - particularly when it involves open public behavior. Unless God says different to you on some issues (that is direct revelation) and/or unless the “flow of life” leads you in a differing direction it may be best to keep some matters private.





Seventh: Grace and Forgiveness






Just as there is grace and forgiveness on the other side of eternity. (I seem to remember a verse about sin being forgiven in the next life “this life or the next”). There is also grace and forgiveness on this side of eternity (in other words forgiveness by God “in this life”). If the decision we are pondering involves a previous decision we have made - which did not foster life - and as a result we find ourselves in a place that could - at the minimum - be ___________. We as Christians know that as we turn to God He is more than able and willing to get us out of the situation we are in, and not only pick us up but turn us in the right direction of His will.


[but it should also be pointed out here that His grace may be given us in order that we stay in the situation we are in too (we need wisdom here)].


Brothers abd Sisters, God will most always help us get out of situations that do not foster life but in doing so we may have to come to terms with the fact that God may want us to correct our previous decision is some way and/or possibly change it. There is such a thing as repentance and repentance DOES involves going in a different direction.


Jesus talked about God’s forgiveness. And this forgiveness concerns matters both great and small. What I am going to say next may be surprising to some, but in some ways the final judgment is indeed a very relative judgment. As you judge so to you will be judged. The standards you use to judge will be the very standards that are used on yourself. It’s in ones best interest not to be so rigid about things and cut people - including oneself some slack - especially in regards to changing ones life direction - Gods will for ones life.


Factoring in Gods forgiveness - especially in regards to changing a previous decision in trying to descern Gods will for ones life - is not a bad thing to do.We need to not only be gracious to others but also ourselves. (Then of course there is always the possibility that one could still just ask God, or even go with the flow of life too).


Again, we need to be very careful about passing judgment on other peoples major life decisions as well as accepting peoples judgment of our own. It’s better not to judge.





Eighth: Holiness






When making major life decisions the subject of Holiness is something one may want to consider. Positionally we are justified and sanctified (that is declared holy) before God. However Holiness - in our Experience may be something that is lacking. What one feels is proper in regards to experiential holiness - in the absence of direct revelation, or going with the flow or just living ones life as rightly as one can see it - may be something you wants to consider before you make any life decision - both major and minor (someday I hope to address this matter further).





Ninth: Accountability






Its sobering to remind ourselves form time to time that we will be held accountable for all our life decisions before God. The book of Ecclesastes states something along the lines of... ‘go ahead, do whatever it is you want to do, say whatever you want to say but remember everything you do and everything you say will be something that you will have to give an account to before God. With that in mind be careful’ (my paraphrasing) This statement is very true. With this in mind, unless we are actually flowing with life, or responding to something that God told us to do, we should stop and think twice about anything we are planing to do, or anything we are planing to say and possibly think again before we go ahead and do what it is we want to do. I’ve come to the conclusion that one can justify any behavior or action to oneself, but can one justify it before God?

Actions, particually actions that are faithless and violate trust are usually something that should raise a red flag and at least for me - unless God says different, or again “the flow,” are very questionable.

Also, there’s nothing wrong with using common sense in regards to some life issues too.





The Tree of Life






I began with the tree of Life and I want to end with it. God is a God of life. Everything around Him lives. Jesus who came from God came that we would have life and have it abundantly. The abundant life is where we want to be, but according to scripture the abundant life is a selfless life. That is the giving up of oneself for the sake of others. Jesus said if you want to save you life you must indeed lose it, but one shouldn’t worry for it;s in the losing of ones life that you do indeed find it (and we are speaking of life on this side of eternity). This is the message of the cross which is to be picked up daily.


Brothers and sisters, if we are at a place where things are not quite working out for us and as a result are trying to discern, hear and or flow into Gods will for our lives (or God’s will for a particular situation) and haven’t - as of yet - , heard, figured out anything. And we know that time and time again we’ve been laying down our lives and nothing has changed much it (in other words there is no real enjoyment in our lives). The problem may be not only that our approach to life is wrong (remember the introduction of this essay), but also we - or the people we associate with - have been eating of the wrong tree. That is that nasty tree that is so tempting. The tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil.

Brothers and sisters we should not look at life as much as what is and is not the correct thing to do in a particular situation (that is for Children), but look at life in terms of what causes life and what doesn’t. Live life to it’s fullest. Take it as it comes.































































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